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The Dirty Pulse

by Ember Swift

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1.
No Regrets 04:20
father won’t take them pills no doctor is gonna make him ill and mother, she just stands still puts both hands upon her hips, fresh lines of worry and father he don’t ever say he’s sorry he never will he never will my brother had no mind for school weren’t no teacher gonna make his rules found himself a lover, man she loves her jewels she’d put both hands upon the men who would supply her my brother’s perfect angel was on fire he never knew he never will so please baby, don’t hedge your bets cuz just maybe you ain’t seen it all yet just how crazy this family gets so put both hands upon the wheel and push the pedal cuz the farther we get now the less they’ll meddle won’t be no regrets won’t be no regrets no regrets no regrets
2.
Affluence Disease in a world that has come to need human shields in olive fields in a world, in a world, in a world, in a world, in a world that has come to need advocacy for honesty some one tell me, what can we do now? some one tell me, what can we do? some one tell me what can be done? some one tell me what can be done? to be free of all this worry and wonder and wonder and worry to be free of this affluence disease to be free of all this worry and wonder and wonder and worry in a world that has come to see reality on the t.v. in a world, in a world, in a world, in a world, in a world that has long forgotten that good food is the greatest medication some one tell me, what can we do now? some one tell me, what can we do? some one tell me what can be done? some one tell me what can be done? to be free of all this worry and wonder and wonder and worry to be free of this affluence disease to be free of all this oh the crossfire on the line graph of technology versus time our very evolution is mapping out our very decline all this adulation for a nation that’s really on its knees suffering the ill effects of this affluence disease When will we be free of this affluence disease?
3.
what have we really got to do today? let’s start by throwing that loud, loud, loud alarm clock away stretch into the wind, let time drizzle like the rain and tomorrow we’ll let our wake-up call be the sun, be the sun some day, some fine day we will all sing some day, some fine day we will all sing never has the time been more right to put down your weapons, take up the fight throw, throw, throw away the blame and start forgiving and do everything, everything in the name of the living some day, some fine day we will all sing some day, some fine day we will all sing some day, some fine day, some fine day, some fine day
4.
Bliss 03:22
here is a town called Bliss first thing you’ll see are mobile homes perched on cinder blocks looking dusty and forlorn rusted tractors, three-legged mutts, peeling paint and jacked up trucks boarded up shops, vacant lots curtains and faces drawn how could we let it come to this? this silent scene of emptiness how could we let it come to this? this backwards bliss. do you wanna know the answer? do you wanna know, do you wanna know? there was a time when hope wafted from gardens and chimneys, shafts of light cast on piano keys living rooms full and singing but then the mine was shut down and all the families left town those church bells stopped ringing. how could we let it come to this? this silent scene of emptiness how could we let it come to this? this backwards bliss. do you wanna know the answer?… seems like we’re leaving the asking up to somebody else seems like we’re leaving the asking up to somebody else when they say thou shalt not question, they really mean the corporation. when they say thou shalt not question, they really mean the mining industry. there’s not much left to see…
5.
i am a statue of solitude and you are a sales rep for romance out on your rounds today, you pulled up with your attitude now you’re standing on my doorstep as if I should open up for you go on home before you drive me crazy go on home before you drive me crazy it’s just another mental breakdown here, don’t mind me turn around let me go, let me be, let me go crazy it’s just another mental breakdown here, don’t mind me turn around let me go, let me be, let me go crazy there is a market for romance, I do agree and you have invested heavily but I think you should just get back into your automobile cuz I don’t buy what I don’t feel it’s just another mental breakdown here, don’t mind me turn around let me go, let me be, let me go crazy it’s just another mental breakdown here, don’t mind me turn around let me go, let me be, let me go crazy … let me be … let me be I think you should just get back into your automobile I think you should just get back into your automobile cuz I don’t buy, but I don’t buy, but I don’t buy what I don’t feel no I do not buy what I don’t feel It’s just another mental breakdown here …
6.
if I squint and blur my eyes a little i can almost see you you’re like a swirling, verbal riddle and the answer shaves its edges well sandy with the travel smooth & rough at once and impossible to tell you are impossible, impossible, impossible you’re like those endless pattern prints sold in framing shops at the mall if you stare and squint and blur and wait, you might discern the hidden form but it’s always something stupid like a leaping unicorn ready to hang forever on someone’s bathroom wall you are impossible, impossible, impossible you are impossible to tell, impossible to tell, it is impossible to tell with you. i wonder why I waste my time, staring and curious i know the glimpses of you that I find are temporary, at best and always disappointing, though I wonder all the same if one day while I’m staring, i’ll see these brilliant colourful flames lick up and heal the gaps between your meaning and your claims And all that I know is: you are impossible to tell, impossible to tell, it is impossible to tell with you.
7.
Ten Pin 03:36
i go away, go away, oh-oh i go away, go away, oh-oh the gig was so bad i felt like a flight attendant giving a safety demonstration no one looked my way, no one came here to watch me play but that’s okay, it’s okay, it’s all the same: we focus on the destination, forget to be entertained by the journey and so I packed up my guitar and headed for the nearest bowling alley better make it ten pin i’ll put my fingers in i like the holes wide better make it ten pin i’ll put my fingers in i like the holes wide i go away, go away, oh-oh i go away, go away, oh-oh so I checked into a hotel where the mid-section of the bed sagged like an old mare put out to pasture and it does not really matter with what words it is said just sometimes it’s time to be the student, life the master and so I packed up all my clothes and headed for the road again, better make it ten pin i’ll put my fingers in i like the holes wide … the gig wasn’t half bad i felt like a flight attendant going up and down the aisle with free food and drinks everyone looked my way, there was no need to pay but that’s okay, it’s okay, it’s all the same: we focus on the destination, forget to be entertained by the journey. and so I packed up my guitar and headed for the nearest bowling alley better make it ten pin i’ll put my fingers in i like the holes wide, wide, wide, wide … i go away, go away, oh-oh … and besides, i look good in the shoes. oh yeah, I look good in the shoes don’t you know it baby i look good in the shoes.
8.
Thirteen 04:02
finally I’m thirteen it’s the year of valuable lessons i can baby-sit the neighbor’s kids so I can earn my way collect the paper bills inside the pages of my Nancy Drew books cuz they’re my most valued possessions yes, they’re my most prized possessions but that’s a secret finally I’m thirteen and I am fully grown this will be my shoe size when I’m thirty and old people ask me, “what’dya want to be when you grow up, little lady?” but no one tells me i won’t have to go no one tells me that i won’t have to go when they know, when they know, when they know i’ve got a treasure between the covers i’ve got the means to be grown up i’m gonna stay strong and defend her i’m gonna stand tall, keep my chin up and remember that I am all these things underneath the slouch and frightened stare i’m gonna save up so I don’t have to care i’m gonna save up so I don’t have to care between the covers of Nancy Drew mystery, Nancy Drew adventure my treasure is my history and it will follow me, it will follow me, it will follow me until I’m thirty and old or so I’ve been told finally I’m thirteen and I want to run away but what I really want is just for someone to say that I won’t have to go won’t someone tell me that I won’t have to go when they know, when they know when they know my secret i’ve got a treasure between the covers … I’m gonna save up so I don’t have to care I’m gonna save up so I don’t have to care
9.
Intervention 03:38
Intervention “whatchado” and “whatchasay” don’t talk much “whatchado” won’t listen to “whatchasay” “whatchado” just walks around all puffed up and “whatchasay” just talks and talks all day and cnn is endless on the t.v. people here are numb to all the news even playing in the airport lobbies only the outsiders are confused better get ready for an intervention cuz we’ve got your best interests at heart we see you struggling to simulate perfection we think you’ve gone too far you like to guard your borders keep the outside out, don’t want no spies you’re following your orders it’s against the new laws to ask why why don’t you let some other leaders have a try now? they may just know at thing or do and, “whatchasay,” you quietly step down now and give some care to “whatchado” ya better get ready for an intervention we’ve got your best interests at heart we see you struggling to simulate perfection we think you’ve gone too far “whatchado” and “whatchasay” don’t talk much “whatchado” won’t listen to “whatchasay” “whatchado” just walks around all puffed up and “whatchasay” just talks and talks and talks and talks and talks and talks all day you’d better get ready (we think you’ve gone too far) you’d better get ready (for an intervention)
10.
Witness 03:00
i am awake now i cannot go back to sleep consciousness is stealth, on quiet feet it creeps once you let it in your house, you cannot get it to leave i am awake now i can hear it breathe the more I learn about food, the less I want to eat the more I learn about water, the less I want to drink the more I learn about people, the fewer I want to meet the more I learn, the less I want to think. i am a witness i’ll tell you what I have seen ignorance is bliss only when you’re fast asleep once you let in consciousness, you’ll never want it to leave i am a witness, this is what I’ve seen. the more I learn about food, the less I want to eat the more I learn about water, the less I want to drink the more I learn about people, the fewer I want to meet the more I learn, the less I want to think. but I cannot starve, die of thirst, be a hermit and nothing really works when you want to turn off your brain you gotta be a witness, witness, witness, witness be brave enough to say, “this is not the way for me.” the more I learn about food, the less I want to eat the more I learn about water, the less I want to drink the more I learn about people, the fewer I want to meet the more I learn, the less I want to think. be a witness, be a witness you cannot turn off your brain be a witness, be a witness you cannot turn off your brain be a witness, be a witness you cannot turn off your brain
11.
Ease 03:38
je ne porte jamais mes souliers quand je suis dans la forêt je trouve que c’est la seule facon de s’équilibrer je ne porte jamais mes oreilles quand je suis dans la ville de bruits souillés je trouve que c’est la seule facon de s’écouter we’ve got to ease off and ease up feed the flames and cool the coals i’m am exercising my right to hand over the controls and tonight in the clear moonlight i know balance trumps talent every time flames need to be fed in order to climb. on n’est que des arbres qui cherchent le soleil, toujours faim pour la journée je trouve que c’est la bonne raison de monter on n’est que des sons qui veulent être équilibrés le feu quie est dans mes oreilles je pense que c’est vraiment le silence qu’on doit toujours garder we’ve got to ease off and ease up feed the flames and cool the coals i’m am exercising my right to hand over the controls and tonight in the clear moonlight i know balance trumps talent every time flames need to be fed in order to climb. je ne porte jamais mes souliers quand je suis dans la forêt je ne porte jamais mes oreilles quand je suis dans la ville de bruits souillés
12.
rainy night in April busy intersection downtown a lone man in the middle of traffic was wandering in circles, crying out the traffic stalled and waited nobody went to help him broken record of his voice in the air nobody went to help the traffic inched around his jagged despair what have we done here? what have we not done? my cousin called me up on a rainy night in April words like bells ringin’ – we’ve found the long-lost relative married 18 years in abuse and self-defacing, foreign fears and she’s free now, but I guess that’s all relative nobody came to help the family stalled and waited nobody went to help her broken record of her absence in the air nobody went to help the family tiptoed around her ragged despair what have we done here? what have we not done? oh the rain makes everything lonely urban silence is bleak nobody went to help nobody reaches out not in the shiny, dark street amidst the fallen feet this is reinforced concrete reinforced this is reinforced

credits

released April 18, 2006

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Ember Swift 北京市, China

Canadian artist Ember Swift is an internationally touring musician, songwriter, and founder of the independent label Few’ll Ignite Sound. Originally from Toronto, she has spent the past decade + in the magnetic city of Beijing, China. In non-pandemic times, she tours throughout Europe and Asia and returns to North America at least once a year for live performances and special events. ... more

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